hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Buhtt sex?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
