sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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