I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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