Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Damn victory sex feels great
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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