That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
