The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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