Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
