Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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