you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
