This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
