bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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