It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
