So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
