Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
