Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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