Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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