even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize