This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Randomize