Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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