there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
