dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
