so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
