I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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