I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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