I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
