He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
