so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize