I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
