i need an iv and a liver transplant
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
