just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
