Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
