there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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