Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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