Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own

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  (810): If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore? (989): I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own http://tfl.nu/vduq
  Replies (24) Good night (2435) Bad night (553)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

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  (612): hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted. http://tfl.nu/g5t8
  Replies (37) Good night (2670) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.

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  (850): he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life. http://tfl.nu/9uaw
  Replies (34) Good night (971) Bad night (6298) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We got so high we made milksteak

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  (250): We got so high we made milksteak http://tfl.nu/iyv5
  Replies (45) Good night (4234) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
  Replies (45) Good night (8957) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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  (214): No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix http://tfl.nu/3cn5
  Replies (11) Good night (589) Bad night (3553) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey man your outta milk

  (541): View more from Oregon

  How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!

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  (503): Hey man your outta milk (541): How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?! http://tfl.nu/1x3m
  Replies (17) Good night (10182) Bad night (1340)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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  (603): well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access. http://tfl.nu/o23q
  Replies (26) Good night (3830) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.

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  (215): Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing. http://tfl.nu/grk7
  Replies (9) Good night (3298) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.

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  (484): so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey. http://tfl.nu/h1y9
  Replies (7) Good night (3232) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.

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  (847): I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet. http://tfl.nu/wpea
  Replies (2) Good night (1917) Bad night (1415) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.

  (916): View more from California

  That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.

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  (530): My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo. (916): That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone. http://tfl.nu/d9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (1905) Bad night (389)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.

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  (636): Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present. http://tfl.nu/1iee
  Replies (9) Good night (2292) Bad night (263)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs

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  (802): Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs http://tfl.nu/usn4
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white

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  (610): I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white http://tfl.nu/fhnw
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt

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