I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.