There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.