There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.