I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation