dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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