We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize