The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
