I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
