every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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