the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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