I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just had sex bonerless
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
