I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I will pee on everything he values.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
