So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
