he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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