I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
