girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
