We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
