its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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