And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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