Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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