Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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