Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
