So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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