Small penises have feelings too.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
