do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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