I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
