i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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