I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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