I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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