Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
