you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
