So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
