You're my little dorito
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
