you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just found puke in my bra..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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