made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
