I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
