And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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