Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The air was thick with penises
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
