just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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